Letter To My Lover

Letter To My Lover

Alysse Myers

I don't know what I want from you

Or if I even want anything at all.

You know, part of me always liked the way you never cared about me,

Or knew nothing about me,

But I started unravelling you like a thick ball of boy yarn

And I found so much more than I'd expected to.

I wish I would've stayed out of your mind and let you remain unknown to me,

Because it wouldve been easier that way.

But the easy way isn't always the best one, because I found kingdoms in you!

Beautiful kingdoms!

With castles and cathedrals and miles of nothing but rolling green hills,

Peppered with orange and purple wildflowers.

You are like a dream to me!

I want to strip my clothes off and run naked through those hills,

And take a nap in the tall grass

Where the grass is so soft you never need shoes.

I'm so happy in the moments we're together,

But I hate you when we're apart!

You forget that I'm a human being, and I want what every human wants,

Which is to be loved.

I thought that this could be enough for me,

But I can feel my aura turning black with grief.

You're pulling every piece of me apart,

And putting me back together in ways that leave me confused,

And unsure of who I am.

And I wish I was enough for you!

I wish I didn't find other girls' underwear on the floor by your bed.

I wish I could dig my fingernails into the hickies on your neck

Left anonymously by women I don't know.

I wish you didn't lie,

And spoonfeed me hot, wet, delicious promises of someday being the only one.

I'm no longer fulfilled by you, and I want to leave you so badly,

Because,

I want to sink so deeply into love that I drown in it.

I want to be so overwhelmed by the warmth that you encompass me in, 

That I stay there forever.

Why wont you let me?