A Letter To My Mom

Dear mama what's your favorite drink

I'll mix it up for you throw in a little love and cyanide

What's your high is it my smile or the smell of booze

What's one more drink when you have nothing left to lose

Dear mama come sleep in my bed

I promise to hold you and keep you safe

I promise to love you and remind you that you'll always be my mother

Whether I like it or not

Mama can you braid my hair and paint my nails

Can hold me close and remind me what real love feels like

Mama do you know what real love feels like

Mama can you teach how to do my make up and read

Can you teach me what a real man looks like

Mama did you know what a real man looks like

Did you know that you would be the star of my tragedy

Or that you would never really get to know the real me

Do you know when I lost respect for you

Or was that memory lost in a black out

Mama I don't know what you meant by I'll never be 6’4 or how I'll never be able to live next door

But i do know what you meant by I'm better than you'll ever be or my story will never be a tragedy no matter how many times I write it

You are the star mama but the brightest stars burn out the fastest and you were always the brightest to me

I hear your wails at night over your failing liver

You used to be the gold but you can't even place silver

I promised you I would be a winner

No matter how many drinks sliver down your scorched throat you have never lied

But mama do you know how to be honest

Do you see the future that's been laid upon us

You said in the quiet our souls meet

But I don't even think you know what thats means

So look me in the eye mama

Are these brown orbs big enough bright enough sad enough for you to change your ways

I guess not