A Letter To Myself

Locations

0182
South Africa

I am sorry.

i am sorry for shredding you to pieces when you deserved to be cherished.

i'm sorry for the six years of abuse i put you through and thought that you deserved. 

for the countless times i deprieved you of things you needed because 

i thought you could survive without it.

for thinking you were meant to please others, when your only purpose was to keep me alive.

for the amount of times i wished that you could change, but you werent meant to be molded into something else. 

for the words i carved deep into your bones that are scared there forever.

for the time i believed the world didnt want to see you.

for the way i made you feel, for pushing you too far. 

for the way i didnt recognize your existence, like i pretended you werent there.

you were there. 

you were there...screaming at me to take care of you. 

you were not trash and im sorry for treating you like you were.

you are a universe trapped inside your bones.

you are made up of the same elements that make the galaxy. 

you are stardust and are worth being here.

you have life racing through your veins, pulsing through your body.

you have a heartbeat begging to be noticed, pounding in harmony to the sound of life.

you have flowers growing in your lungs, blooming with every breath you take.

you have a voice that can change the world, so speak up.

you have hands that will create anything you wish.

i am so sorry for ignoring every hint you gave to me.

this...

this is an apology for the time i spent despising you.

an apology for destroying you.

and this...

THIS

this is a promise that i will spend forever making it up to you,

a promsie that i will love and care for you,

a promise that i will keep you safe. 

 

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