Letter to Myself

by lovedbyGod247

May 17, 2019

I’m sorry

For pushing your needs aside

For neglecting you

Not giving you any of my time

I’m sorry

For ignoring your heartache

Putting so much pressure on you

When you were about to break

I’m sorry

For trying to make you perfect

Instead of accepting

The things that make you who you are

I’m sorry

For discouraging you

From chasing your passions

Out of fear that you would fail

I’m sorry

For telling you you’re not enough

When all you needed to hear

Was that you are loved

Forgive me

For feeding you so many lies

Shaming you for your mistakes

For making you feel like you needed to hide

I’m sorry

For not addressing your hurts

For not taking care of you

In the way that I should

I’m sorry

For pushing you to your limits

Making you feel

Like you are only as good as your accomplishments

I’m sorry

For taking away your voice

For making you feel like it is better to not make a choice

So you don’t make the wrong one

I’m sorry

For not listening

When you tell me it’s enough

That you just need to rest

I’m sorry

For not helping you

For making you feel

Like you are not strong enough

I’m sorry

For defining you

By how you look

Or how you think

Because you are unique

And you deserve to hear

That you are loved

No matter what tells you otherwise

I’m sorry I added to those lies

I’m sorry

For not standing up for you

When you could not defend yourself

I’m sorry

For the way I talked about you

As if it would make me feel better

To put you down

I’m sorry

For the way I’ve treated you

The ways I hurt you

Instead of helped you heal

I hope you

Will find peace with me

So we can help each other out

For lighter is the burden we carry together

I hope that

We will find a way

To make it right

That we will fight together

I know how you feel

But I treated you still

As if it didn’t matter

I hope you will forgive me

After all that I’ve done

And even if you don’t

Know that you are loved ❤️

I’m still learning

How to love you

How to take care of you

In the ways you need

It’s not fair

The pressure I’ve put on you

I’ve been so critical

Trying to change you

It may take time

But I hope we can find healing

Cause this relationship

Can only grow stronger from here

I don’t know how to end this

I just wanted to say

I’m sorry and

I hope you’ll forgive me someday

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Comments (1)

lovedbyGod247May 17, 2019

I wrote this poem while i was feeling very stressed and upset with myself for not meeting my expectations. I thought that in order to be productive, i had to finish all that i had planned to do that evening without taking any breaks. I even made myself feel bad for needing to take breaks and rest in between tasks, because i felt i was being unproductive that way. I have also been dealing with anxiety my whole life, and i am always putting pressure on myself to be a certain way so that i can accept myself. But while i was writing this poem, it was like the pressure was released. It is an apology letter to the parts of me that i have suppressed or tired out because i told myself i had to be a certain way in order to be loved and accepted. In the letter, i also promised to work on not being so self-critical and allow myself to be who i am without belittling any part of me. I am learning what it means to accept myself - even the parts of me i sometimes wish i could change.I am learning to love myself for who i am, not who i think i should be.

Comments are closed for this poem.