A Letter of Reaction to Existence

Dear flow of life,

For so long I had neither a choice nor the awareness to breathe-

The pace is that of a river stream,

A steam engine,

An engineered society made to keep up.

 

Perhaps it was the breathe I took prior to blowing the candles on my 23rd birthday cake,

The involuntary actions could no longer be ignored;

Now they were to be eliminated,

Passed through a sifter or decisions take the form of organic flour made by university graduates.

 

The realization of happiness, of maintaining a pleasant state has always been the unachievable end-goal of a college student.

It gets harder to unclench the teeth to pet my neighbors cat,

But the replacement of a competitive outlook with a more steady one;

One that resembles the behaviors of a sine wave,

That could be the solution to everything.

 

Or maybe,

There never will be a solution to everything,

Einstein tried it only to have an image of him sticking his tongue out as his most memorable photo.

I don’t want to have the haircut of a recently electrocuted scientist,

A mad scientist,

Mad at the powers he contains,

Or the source of anger may derive from the fact that he ever thought to seek this answer in the first place.

 

To not place a firm definition on anything,

But to open up a platform that extends for a lifetime,

That is my wise decision in my early twenties. 

I took up volunteering, cooking, cycling, composing music;

I am teaching myself to exist- 

No classes offered on the behavior of human mind and body for a desirable life,

But maybe that’s the big picture here in the first place.

 

Although now,

There is the grim of voluntary actions I take;

I believe I am creating experiences,

Abstract and concrete;

As well as, an abstract concrete I’ve just poured to make a statue of my happiest moment.