Dear Blackberry,

 

When I first met you,

You were bigger than me.

A father's first gift to his newborn child.

In my earliest memories, you're right there with me:

Playing with you,

Struggling to carry you around,

Sleeping with you as my pillow at night.

Speaking of which, sorry I almost ruined you

By doing that.

I may have been small,

But five years of bedtimes wears out

Even the toughest of pillows.

 

Once I got a real pillow,

You moved from under me to next to me.

And I know that for a while

I thought you might be dangerous

So I kept one hand on you every night

To make sure you wouldn't come to life

And try to eat me,

But I learned eventually.

I learned that you're just there to help me.

To protect me from terrors

That got more real with time

Instead of less.

From imagined monstrosities

To worldly worries,

You can always soothe me,

Make me feel safe and sleepy,

The way the night should be

Instead of what my mind makes it.

 

Sending you off to be restored

Was one of the hardest things I've done.

I agonized about whether or not you'd come back.

I went from a peaceful sleeper to an insomniac.

The weird thing is, most people

Have never had a bear like you

To help them sleep. But for me

It was almost totally new.

I had to learn to sleep without you.

And just when I got used to it,

You came back, looking brand new again

After who knows what was done to you.

I hope it didn't hurt.

But you're better now,

And I'm not going to let my head

Put you in tatters again.

 

I worry about going off to college.

Because I can't very well just lug

This huge teddy bear into the dorm:

"This is Blackberry; I've had him all my life.

He helps me at night. I can't sleep without him."

It would be ludicrous!

College students don't do that.

Well, if I learned to do it once

I can learn it over again.

And I guess that maybe

This is like when I got that other pillow.

How you and I interact

Is going to change,

But that doesn't mean we've stopped.

And even though you're back at home,

You're still protecting me from afar.

That's all for now, I guess.

I'll see you tonight.

 

Forever yours,

Sam