Letter to the Wreckage

Five hundred miles between a temporary bed and what felt like a bad dream

Two days in oblivion just waiting for a “hey, I’m better off today”

But the message never came

Just rumors of a tree by the soccer field

Where you didn’t slam the brakes

I thought you were okay

And failed to see the demons that hijacked the wheel and your helpless brain

You saved me so much, why couldn’t I do the same

Ten months between the time when I saw your face and the memories that overtook its place

I wonder why you broke all your promises

Left all us standing in a ditch

Alone, together but alone

But the message never came

Just rumors of a tree by the soccer field

Where you didn’t slam the brakes

I thought you were okay

And failed to see the demons that hijacked the wheel and your helpless brain

You always said you hated change

It’s kind of strange that now I agree

Waking up after three hours of sleep

I have to face the world without your words to guide me along

And it’s hard to maintain a smile

When I realize that you’re not beside me to entertain every thought, extraordinary or mundane

You saved me so much, why couldn’t I do the same

All I have are my words to explain

The grief, the hurt, the confusion, the guilt

They shape me, calm me down, help me relieve the pain

Of the thousands of voices, shouting in my brain:

You saved me so much, why couldn’t I do the same

You saved me so much, why couldn’t I do the same

You saved me so much, why couldn’t anyone do the same

You couldn’t save yourself and no one’s to blame