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the letter 'y'

by roma_rao

Water raced down my window pane
And all I envisioned was the partition
Stemming from the trunk of a tree
It was solemn and it was poignant

But mostly bittersweet, this rain
How could the bonds of particles 
(transparent miniscule minutia)
Cause such piercing melancholia

Nothing less than its movements
It was slow and yet seemed in a hurry
(carried on by gravity, slowed by friction)
Just the way you always seemed to me

Rushing around, yet taking your time
Putting on a show, showing me what
I wanted to see, so when I watched the rain
I thought about broken promises and goodbyes

They say God is in the rain, but you
Both the calm before a storm, and yet
The torrent that shattered and battered
Plus the pitter-patter of water droplets

Sliding, dripping down your back
And there in those precious moments
It took to run the length of your body
I remembered broken promises and goodbyes

But self, said I, rain works in cycles,
It returns, maybe not the exact but
Even for broken promises and goodbyes
Something good will find its way back. 

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roma_rao

My name is Roma. I enjoy writing poetry. What more do you need to know?

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Comments (3)

QV
<p>It was my pleasure to read a good poem :) l will continue to read and make suggestions&nbsp;on other pieces you have written when I have time. QV</p>
roma_rao
<p>Thank you so much! I've a hard time sharing my work, it's very personal for me, so I appreciate everything good people have to say about it. Also, thank you for being so specific about it. You're marvellous for that.&nbsp;</p><p>You're absoutely allowed constructive criticism. I definitely do think I coud take away the the parathesis, it's just a style choice, and it's more for me a way of trying to convey how I read it, you know. As if those are sidethoughts to the original idea that subtlely convey the narrators tone and outlook on the rain. The other line you mentioned, I think "(carring on my gravity, slowed by friction)" looking back on it, I realize that it's pretty unnecessary but I guess I just wanted to show the idea that things move so slowly it feels like your stuck and then all of sudden things have changed and progress is slow and jerky like that but maybe I didn't quite capture that.&nbsp;</p><p>But honestly, thank you for reading. I'm so glad you liked it! &nbsp;*Sorry, I talk a bunch). &nbsp;-Roma</p><p>&nbsp;</p>
QV
<p>"They say God is in the rain, but you/Both the clam before a storm..." What a marvellous line! You have written a very effective work. The description of rain is original, organic, and personal ("I remember broken promises and goodbyes"). May I suggest two things for consideration? First, removing the lines in parentheses and second cutting the second verse of the third stanza. Your piece would be much more effective without the extra logical explanations. &nbsp;Keep on writing and sharing :) QV</p>

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