Letting Go

It’s hard to say good bye to the one you love

The one you had moments with nobody would even think of

The one that showed you intense passion and lust

The one that made you feel alive but drains you on the inside 

The one that said I love but turned around and neglected you

Having anxiety of them with somebody else which mentally tortures you

Confused on why they said I love you so many time but had no problem leaving you behind 

The way we connect with each other when we get back to together knowing it will be a sad ending every time.

The way you kiss me with those pretty lips but poisonous lies

Touching me in places that make me feel weak inside 

Emotionally whipping me by looking in my eyes

Giving me affection to distract me from your painful confessions which make me fall back into your trap every time 

Asking myself why do I take you back knowing  you’ll leave me heartbroken 

 I feel so mad that I let you steal my heart again 

Telling me lies making me  think there was still a true spark.

That you loved me and wouldn’t hurt me 

I knew I wasn’t your girlfriend but you still kissed me on weak spots that left a mark

Turning me on to ignore my broken heart 

 Emotionally torturing me tell me you don’t want to lose me but have the nerve to fuck around with other niggas knowing my heart is still recovering from the past pain you’ve caused 

I tell myself that your not good for me and that I have self worth but the next week I’m wrapped around your arms  like a mom holding her baby after child birth knowing this happiness with us is just temporary.

Having nightmares in the middle of the night about being intimate with another person which drives me insane

Making my hands shake, causing my heart to have a lot of pain

I don’t know why I find this pain so comforting like this is nothing 

But all I want do is be happy and fully recovered but you always seem to have some way to rip the painful stitches off my heart 

feeling as though my heart is always bleeding and will never stop as long as I’m in love with you 

I reminisce about the good times we had and the way you made me feel 

But that also came with anxiety with my heart getting squeezed to death feeling like I can’t breathe without you or with you.

But at the end you were the only I gave my all too, but I guess I have no choice but to learn how to live without you