a liar's smile

What's wrong? They ask. Oh. No. Nothing. I'm fine. I answer. The infamous I'm fine paired with the plastic grin that I plaster upon my face day after day in order to grace the presence of others. I'm a reversed Kanye West. He plasters a plastic frown upon his face. And once his smile (my frown) accidentally reveals itself and another catches us we plaster that plastic right back on. But behind closed doors and window shades, my truths are revealed. My truth my frown my depression seeps from me like drops of water from a soaking rag. I want to be who I am outside those doors to be who I am inside this heart. So once again I plaster that plastic smile upon my face not for others but for myself in an attempt to convince myself that is the real you. I lie to my self. "That is the real you. That is the real you. Smile. That is the real you." Lies. My attempt to make myself happier is a lie. Does this make me a liar?