A Lie to Myself

I don't self harm

Well not anymore

A lie to myself

I self harm and I still feel those long term effects

I can see the old scars still

I want new ones

But I want to show my friends I'm ok

I don't self harm in a way that is permanent 

Cutting ties

Cutting myself off

I self harm and the bruises fade

I self harm and the scratches go away

I crave it

I crave feeling

I can feel

But not like this

This is wrong

But it feels right

I don't self harm in a way that is permanent

A lie to myself