Life...

Life is a game and not the fun kind There's no reset button and no extra life. Why is it someone can be here one minute then gone the next day? Because life is a bit hard you say? There are no words to express how I feel today. Some days its impossible to get out of bed Battling the thoughts that swirl in my head. Why am I alive? Shouldn't I be dead? Pound back another pill to "clear" my brain But it doesn't even begin to kill the pain. The guns, the shots, the screams, the dead How can I remove these intusive thoughts from my head? Is it too late? Am I another lost cause? Doomed to live life dancing on the razors edge. One wrong step and bam I'll be dead. I can't decide if that's a bad decision anymore. No matter how fast I run I feel stuck to the floor. The clock turns 2 then half past 4. I just want things to be the same as before. Look in the mirror, I don't even recognize who I am anymore. Just know that I chose this life. Friends with the dark so you can sleep at night. I'll never back down from a fight. If it means that you'll be alright Even if that fight is against my self Step aside I can't use your help I chose this life and I can't run away Even though I can't face the light of day This is my choice coming out of my voice Even though I suffer with machine gun blues I'd never ask anyone to walk in my shoes Coming up in a cold world Never knowing when the next match would come I'd have to fight for some light even if that meant I'd have to bite the bullet for some I did something wrong again here comes dad with the belt again Oh no its his fists this time Don't cry it'll only make it worse Wondering if I'll finally be taken away from this hurt in a nice hurse Because fighting this man who is 6'3 is no match for a 5yo like me It's like a Tyson fight bout and he just knocked my fuckin lights out What do you say to the kid with the bruises Do you be his friend? Or pretend not to notice For me it was the latter Sitting alone and some bully just scattered my lunch Now it's just a hunch but life isn't supposed to be this way I'm a kid where's the fun? Instead I feel like Shadys " Rabbit Run"