Life

I live like there is no today,

so I can't see a future.

I dream of being somebody

though without money dreams are a blur.

I am constantly in self destruction

with caged emotions eating away.

Some days I don't know how to function

anger and rage make me see gray.

I thirst to type code until my fingers cramp

programming my problems away.

The dream it seems is to escape

my past, my troubles, and my family.

As far as I can remember,

family has done little to foster my success.

Though, family has done much

to advance my failures.

I only made it to where I am through music

my sweet escape that noone I know can understand.

Without it I don't know where I would be

though I can say I wouldn't be here spewing my thoughts away.

I have made it two years in college walking a thin line

and this time it seems I might not make it for a third year.

Lack of money is the problem, I fear.

I have prospered much since getting away from home and to school.

I would be a fool to not put everything on the line to go back again this time.

I belive that I now am living by the minute on my watch

life on the border between order and chaos.

Regardless of whether or not these words deliver to me any money

this ink on this page is what helps me make it to see another day.