I live like there is no today,
so I can't see a future.
I dream of being somebody
though without money dreams are a blur.
I am constantly in self destruction
with caged emotions eating away.
Some days I don't know how to function
anger and rage make me see gray.
I thirst to type code until my fingers cramp
programming my problems away.
The dream it seems is to escape
my past, my troubles, and my family.
As far as I can remember,
family has done little to foster my success.
Though, family has done much
to advance my failures.
I only made it to where I am through music
my sweet escape that noone I know can understand.
Without it I don't know where I would be
though I can say I wouldn't be here spewing my thoughts away.
I have made it two years in college walking a thin line
and this time it seems I might not make it for a third year.
Lack of money is the problem, I fear.
I have prospered much since getting away from home and to school.
I would be a fool to not put everything on the line to go back again this time.
I belive that I now am living by the minute on my watch
life on the border between order and chaos.
Regardless of whether or not these words deliver to me any money
this ink on this page is what helps me make it to see another day.