life is unfair

i stopped talking when I was six years old i didn’t want anything more to do with the outside world my parents were always emotionally unavailable all they cared about was whether I was a good sport or not i was happy being quiet but of course they wouldn’t leave me alone my parents tried every trick in the book from speech therapists to child psychologists they even tried bribery i could have anything, as long as I said it out loud of course, this episode didn’t last forever i’d made my point and it was time to move on to peel away the next layer of deceit and see what new surprises lay in store my school report said I showed no interest “a disruptive influence” i felt sorry for them in a way and when they finally expelled me it didn’t mean a thing i came into high school now and dissapeared into the books even though that silent period of my life was over I still felt like I didn’t belong in public society I forced myself to get good grades not because i cared, because i felt I wasn’t acomplishing a single thing by slacking after i left, I was never really either physiaclly present or emotionally, I stayed in my house, never leaving with the occasional exception of running arronds people in general were just an unbearable thought that’s around the exact time I learned– life is unfair either die or get over it after thinking about that, i stopped what i was doing i stopped playing i stared, i had the facial grimacing And then the psychiatrist was saying “julie, julie, can you hear me? can you open your eyes? can you see me?” and all of a sudden, “julie” struck out i was messing her up I had no idea why I was just so angry with it all she dragged me back to the horrid life that I lived the hell that was thrown at me and in return, I threw my hands at her she was black and blue when I was done she ran for her phone and as soon as she had it in her hands the cops were on the other side “oh well,” I thought “prison is better than the life i’m living now” I got interviewed by them told them the truth went to court and got sentenced 15 years with a chance of early release and in my time in that cell I thought about those words “life is unfair either die or get over it” i’m 55 now been out of jail for 11 years life has been fairer now I work at a local grocery store that pays well I learned to talk with human beings and even if life (and I) were unfair those 26 years ago and before, I didn’t die and I got over it *by the way, this isn't a true story or mine in particular. this is all realistic fiction.