Into the Light

For a long time I thought I had my life figured out: Where I’m supposed to go, What I’m supposed to do, Who I’m supposed to be. I watched as smiles would spread across people’s faces When they realized that I was following society’s footsteps. I was going to spend entirely too many years in school So that I might be able to buy my happiness. Those smiles convinced me that I was right. But one day I woke up and saw that I was so wrong. I realized that I’m just walking along this path blindfolded, My arms outstretched, My feet carefully sliding across the rocky ground, Just trying to stay alive. Each small step gets me a little bit closer to some unknown destination. I don’t know where I’m going, Or what I’m doing. And I don’t know who I’m supposed to be. I know who people want me to be, The expectations that they have for me. That’s what I thought I wanted. So I tried to conform and Fit into a mold that was entirely too small. I tried to cram all of my flaws into a shoebox To put into the dark shadows of my closet. The light was only supposed to reach what was accepted. But eventually that light began to blind me. I could no longer see myself as me. I looked in the mirror and saw a stranger. And I hated her. I hated everything about her: The way she dressed, The way she talked, Everything. The only thing that I wanted from her was an end. The real me seemed so far out of reach, That I knew I would die trying to find me. So I questioned whether it was even worth it. Then a still small voice began whispering in my ear, Telling me not to give up. I saw a calling placed in front of me. It's a calling to change lives, And to show love. It's a calling to the red dirt of Africa And the less fortunate students of America. It's what called me out of the darkness. The more I reach toward this future, The more I feel the blindfold slipping off. My steps are still careful. My arms are still outstretched. I am still just trying to live. I can’t tell you who I am, yet. And I don’t know exactly where I’m going. But the light is shining on my path. I wish I could sit here and tell you all about me. But for now I’ll just say, “Hello, I’m Kalie.”