Light and Love: A Sonnet

April 16, 2013

You are my lighthouse when I'm stuck at sea The mystical moon shining through my night The sparkling light that brings me to thee Shoulder to lean on when nothing goes right Your soft, flowing hair, that flies through the breeze The bright, hopeful North Star that leads me home Only for you I'll drop down to my knees More alluring than the city of Rome Sadly all good things must come to an end But when you die I will be close behind But eventually alone we must fend Until once more our paths are intertwined Your beauty will always be in my heart Even if, in the end, we have to part

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QVJul 25, 2013

<p>Nice sonnet! There is something about affection that stirs within each of us the desire to write. A few words of advice, especially the sonnet form. Since you are a modern individual living in the 21st century (I hope), I suggest avoid archaic words (such as thee). I understand why you chose "thee"; however, it was to rhyme with sea. I used to do the same thing, but I realized it was not making my piece more effective. Another example is rhyming home with Rome. Personally, I do not think you were thinking of the Eternal City with you started, but it rhymed with "home" and it fits the line. I had some trouble understanding the sestet "Sadly all things... we have to part". Are you trying to say you will folow the person till death or that death will interwine your spirits even though you have parted?  I really admire the emotion behind this poem, so I hope if you continue to write sonnets that you consider read contemporary sonnets (in anthologies such as "The Art of the Sonnet"). Q.V.</p>

Light and Love: A Sonnet

audreybell97

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