the light is coming

trust is one of few items of my list of standards

abiding by at least one of these standards

would help build up the inspiration

and motivation

to add more to the list

however

by disobeying this list

i will just fall for any of the living tricksters that you just

desire to plant in me

right now i could probably outsmart them

i know for sure if this prolongs

everything

will

get

worse.

as if everything right now is going smoothly

its approaching

the same annoying ache that used to live in my cranium and abdomen 

its like hearing an elephant marching a couple of miles away

the anticipation alone is killing me 

softly

slowly

why won’t it just hit all at once

so it can dismiss itself

and let its enemy silence in

and let it do its job

let it ring all throughout my being

bring its forever peace into me

and it can knock out all of the many toxins you laid around

just carelessly

filling my heart up to the brim with sorrow

the sorrow then runs over and falls into the pit of my soul

my soul could not handle a substance so impactful

lighting my soul and heart on fire

the burns will forever bring the horrific pain

of the many memories you tattooed in my memory

permanent

cannot be removed

it doesn’t make sense to me

why do i  have to live with your consequences

the consequences that came with the foul abuse 

the abuse you gave to me

i tried my best

to master a game that i didn’t even want to play

no wonder why i kept loosing

even if it was just by one point

i couldn’t master anything as close as evil as you

trying to right someone else’s wrong

its like putting the kid who brought the teacher an apple in the corner

and for the kid who bullies the others

he gets the gold star

seeing you with the gold star

parading it around 

like its yours

like it was your property

no

that gold star was only light that remained in me

after all of the trauma 

it somehow managed to stay on its own

i know for a fact it would not leave me 

you stole it 

you broke the rules of the game you crafted

you cheated

however

the light is coming

it will always come when it senses an area that it all too dark

to brighten it up

to replace and restore the peace

however

whenever there was a fire

smoke will always linger