I was unable to focus on what was happening.

The cool summer’s breeze sending chills up my spine,

The chlorinated water slowly pruning my skin.

The memories arose, after four years had passed.

The jokes, the smiles, the laughs, and the fears.

It doesn’t matter; he is no longer the same.

Stripping me with his eyes, I was exposed.

I stepped back, the pool edge now at my back.

Shock kicks in.

I feel my space invaded as he places his hands seductively on my shoulders.

I couldn’t move, I couldn’t scream as he moved my top aside.                                                        

I say, “I have a boyfriend,” he whispers, “He doesn’t have to know.”

Fear has me paralyzed, not knowing what to do.

His cold wet hand slid from beneath my breasts, down to my hips.

He moves the bottoms aside, and places his hand down lower.

I silently struggle in fear, but he only grabs me tighter.

“You know I want it, and you’ll like it too”

The words sending chills down my spine.

“No” I say, “I love my boyfriend!”

Yet those words meant nothing to him.

Afraid to fight, I stand there, pressed against the wall.

Each thrust causing pain, sobs, and tears.

I felt hopeless, I could only softly cry.

I could see it all

Myself up against that wall,

The tears filling my eyes
The “no’s” I was trying to get out.

But he kept going, taking advantage of me.

My biggest fear

One I never though could happen to me.

After what feels like forever

He leaves me there, alone, afraid, and shivering.

I stand there, the smell of sweat, summers air, and chlorine.

And the tip of my tongue can taste the lingering tears.

With arms crossed over my breasts.

Thoughts of what happened flash thorough my mind.

I drag myself inside, feeling so sick, so confused.

Tears in my eyes, everything speeds up so fast.

Seconds or minuets, I can’t decipher how long.

The room now full of unfamiliar faces.

Shuddering and mumbling, sitting on the kitchen floor.

I recite it all, as the officer takes all details down to note.

Shaking and vomiting, they told me I needed to be checked out.

After arguing, an unwinnable combat, I look to my left.

The lights of the police cars and ambulance flicker through window.

Anxious and shattered I tightly grab my boyfriend’s hand,

I walk outside, into the breeze, and the lights,

The lights swallow me.