Limericks for the Impaired

There once was a woman named May

Whose hairdo needed some spray

When it hit her face,

It really was mace,

And so she went blind for the day

There once was a man in a suit,

Who was happily playing his flute

After missing a note,

It fell down his throat,

And now this musician is mute

There once was a gent named Mel

Whose sinuses started to swell

To his dismay,

He got the flu that day,

And now the poor fella can’t smell

A textile worker named Neil

Was working a textile wheel

While sewing some strands,

He lost both his hands,

And so he no longer can feel

There once was a buccaneer

Who loved to scream in my ear

He shouted as loud

As a bustling crowd

And now it seems I can’t hear