A Little Dead.

Can I just say this before I go?

I just want everyone to know

I didn't do this because I was mad

I didn't do this because I was sad

I did this because I don't care

My face just mimicked a blank stare

I took life day by day

Saying everything would be okay

But as you got better, I got worse

Stuck on a spinning ball in this universe

If I'm gone, the world keeps turning

Nothing can describe this yearning

In my heart, to be accepted

All my life I've been rejected

Now it's what's to be expected

I don't even pay attention

I hurt my head until I can't think 

Crying so hard my eyes turn pink 

Repeating the same lie each time

While trying to remain truthful with each line

The pain never leaves, it just gets larger

Then it comes back as you feel yourself grow smaller

No one cares as much as you think they do

The only one who has to give a damn about you, is you

You can't rely on others to make you feel better

You can't expect them to call when you're under the weather

You're surrounded by a fakeness so thick it's ridiculous 

The fact that you still need help is ludicrous

As your skin turns pale after each cut from the tip of the blade

And you wince, close your eyes, cause you can't take the pain

You try to forget the reason you cut in the first place

But it's no use, you'll wind up dead anyway

So I know I'm a coward

I know this is a sin

But I'd rather be a little dead

Than alive in this world I'm in