Little Girl

Little girl

I can still remember that little girl.

The one you took away,

So young and innocent,

Sweet and beautiful, much like a flower.

She had a great family.

A mother who loved her and always seemed to be smiling.

A father who when to work and provided.

A younger sister who followed her.

An older brother who she looked up to.

You took her from me,

Or was she already gone?

Perhaps she would have left anyways,

But maybe not so soon?

Yesterday is history,

Tomorrow, a mystery

But somehow you are my history,

And yet still a mystery.

Why did you do this?

How did you gain the courage?

Did you not think I would tell?

Im still trying to understand.

 Really I am.

Where did she go? 

Possibly lost in a cloud of the smoke you blew so often.  

But smoke isn’t the only thing that came from your mouth.

Ohh no. much more

Lies.

Deception.

Anger.

Love,

see at one time I did believe that.

That you loved her.

That you wanted her happy.

I mean

After all you provided for her so she could be right?

Then why?

Why would you kill her

after years and years of building up

Trust.

That’s a hard thing to earn,

Yet somehow you did.

Im kind of thankful,

Taught me that even when you know someone

for 10 years they aren’t worth a

broken soul.

That’s what you did.

Broke her soul.

In fact you broke much more than that.

Once some things are broken they cant be fixed.

This isn’t something she can just tape back together,

Or put a filter over in order to make it look better.

This isn’t a little rip or tear,

She is

shattered.

With every passing day,

Every hour,

You come to her mind.

Everyone she meets is judge based on you

She doesn’t trust..

Oops

Theres that big T word again

Now I understand why you told her she can only trust family.

…but you were family…

“what happens in this house staysss in this house”

sound familiar?

But see it happened in several houses,

several rooms,

several times!

You took her from me.

Little by little.

I felt her disappearing.

I couldn’t say goodbye,

I couldn’t say anything.

Mortified.

Alone.

Disgusting.

All words I used to describe what you did to me, or was it her?

 See now im confused because

she is me, but im not her…

Ive progressed to bigger better things.

She hasn’t.

She is still

Scared.

Scared someone might come into her room at night.

Scared someone is going to take advantage of her.

I try to keep her locked up.

In a cage in my dysfunctional soul.

But remember not all things are fixable,

The lock breaks and she gets out.

She becomes

Free.

Free from hiding.

Free from all the mess that was left by you.

Free from picking up the pieces

Free from crying, and fake smiles.

She is Done.

We are Done.

You will no longer have the power to control us. Her. Me.

Anyone.

Now you are

Alone.

You should be

Scared.

Mortified.

Disgusted!

You should be

Dead.

After all that’s how it used to be,

kill someone and get the death penalty.