Little Joys
To my first born child,
I love you.
When you were born your big brown eyes
looked up at me and I knew
I was going to be the luckiest mom
in the entire world.
To my first born child,
By age 5 you will
know so much pain,
and much happiness.
But your father and I will keep you safe.
To my first born child,
when you are 13 you will start to feel
unloved.
But I swear that you not only have a mom
and dad,
but Jesus.
Honey, you're loved.
To my first born child,
You said you want to
move out.
Baby you're only 17,
please don't go.
"I can't deal with your bull shit right now mom."
Okay, baby.
I love you.
To my first born child,
I know you got the news,
I'm dying.
And the last words you said to me were
"I hate you."
Baby, I'm going to die.
And I hope you know
there wasn't anything I wouldn't have done
for you.
To my first born child,
I promised to keep you safe,
but lying in this hospital bed,
I can't.
To my first born child, I'm sorry I wasn't the best mom.
And I am so sorry that your father wasn't
always around.
But I miss you.
And as sure as the sun will rise,
I love you.
As does your father.
The doctor said I only have a
few hours,
I wish, I just wish
I could see you,
One,
Last,
Time.
To my first born child,
One hour.
The doctor said
One hour.
You still haven't come.
I pray that you will tell my
grandchildren about me.
But baby,
It's time for me to go.
And just as I close my eyes
I heard the door creak,
And I saw your beautiful smile.
I love you, kid.