The Little Things

I've been guilty of my actions and not wanting to take the blame, I've brushed it off and put my weight on another mans shoulders thinking my sins will soon go away. It's wrong knowing I knew better I didn't know what better I knew. finally, I sat down to talk to him and found out he was the man I handed my flaws to. being raised in a church praying before every meal and bending down on my knees worshipping the one I knew was ideal. I must admit I understood the rules and regulations of Christ to the fullest and there's no way around it. So there's no running, ducking, hiding. There's no beating around the bush. Every breath and step I take is being recorded my evidence has been gathered and collected faster than any investigator. he is more accurate than any other individual. His name ? his name is God. and without him I wouldn't be able to do what I love the most. I wouldn't be able to touch this pen and scribble on this paper about his glorious name. I wouldn't be able to stand and speak in front of a quiet crowd, and spread the sweetness of the name of God. I wouldn't be able to hug this art the way i should without him. The fact that I tried is wrong. How dare I walk around in public scream, fuss, fight, and cuss like a sailor. knowing that I should be spreading his word and thanking him for his mercy. how dare I wake up and wash my face in the morning when actually I should try to wash my sins away and brush his warm thanks against my skin for allowing me to get up another day when he didn't have to let me. How dare I get depressed over my fathers and brothers death. how dare I shut my life off and sit in a hot room and eat all day because I am sad. How dare I cut myself and pop pills just so I can feel better (selfish) and become half angel and have human. When knowing he gave me this life for a reason. He made no mistakes in my past, present, or future. And yet I'm still trying to fix them. (hard headed). And yes I have more problems maybe even more issues. I hide my Opinionated voice and tears behind society, to show that I am strong. But love and let go when I'm alone. All these days of me being an butthole, You remain next to and in attendance of me. Why? I don't know. Sometimes the toughest questions can have the simplest answers: God, Jah, Dios, Allah, Khodd, The all powerful, Almighty, creator, divine being, king of kings..... My idol The selfish I can not compare to the worthy you. You sent your son down to earth to warn us to " beat the bell before the bell beats you. And I'm willing. I'm willing to give up my wild ways for you. Ill give up my sneakers, necklace, and earrings for you, because you, are worth more than silver and gold. As I close my eyes at night, I know you're there to tuck and hide my fears. So Im waving my white flag, I'm surrendering my soul here.