The Little Things/ Four Years

I miss you in the little things

In the way your spirit danced across the stage

Always so eager to play a part away from the harsh reality of your life.

In the way you refused to pick a side: 

Beautiful and intelligent

The scorn of women, the love of men

A walking contradiction to all the standards of this world.

In the way your eyes gleamed with the promise of a by-gone era,

An era in which the love you deserved would finally sweep you off your feet and carry you,

White horse and all,

Away to that elusive Happy Ever After.

I miss you in the books that used to line your walls.

I used to dream that you'd read them all, every word etched in your memory

Because that's what you were to me, 

Capable of everything,

A hero in a broken world.

I did not dream it possible in my little book-lined mind that you might be broken too.

I miss you in the pictures that hang about like ghosts

Forever frozen in time, a happy moment captured.

We must learn to harnass more of those illusive creatures

But like a bird in a cage, you longed to be free

These pictures couldn't hold you forever.

I miss you in the little things,

Little things like not having to miss you.

Not experiencing the hush that falls after your name is uttered.

Not worrying whether that was okay to say or "Is it too soon?" and "How are they by the way?"

To be honest, (but who is anymore?) I miss you in the little things and the big.

But missing someone never did bring them back.

So for now, I'll just be content to remember you

Remember you in the little things.