To live

Every nerve in my body is beating with each step I take,

While the black rubber of my shoes is slapping the uneven pavement.

My heartbeat is an echo in every limb and vessel within me as my legs shake.

My lungs work sporadically, the screaming air trying to escape from its enslavement.

I am running, but not because I am being chased

I run because I see something in the distance that I know must be mine

I step quicker and I pump harder, so that my time is not a waste

The dry thirst and anxious need for you snarls in me like a canine.

I have sought you now for some time

The promise that things will be easy with you by my side

That I will know the answers and never cross something I cannot climb

So I run to you, to the light that will finally fill the void inside

Each time I feel closer to you

The sensation is snatched as I tumble to the ground

And I lose the momentum from which I drew.

I feel lost again when you are not found

When I reach you finally, I see

Not what I was expecting, but nothing more than a mirror staring back at me

Fear creeps up my neck as I worry I will never attain the promise I was once given

That I could feel the fire find its way and fill and fuel me each day,

A guarantee of peace for which I have striven

But then I realize, that it’s me.

It becomes clear in a sea of fog that I have had you all along

That you have always been nestled quietly in my cells waiting to be turned like an ignition key

Once this became clear I knew that I would no longer look forward to find you but look deeper inside myself, and I have never felt so strong

So it is you, Strength, that I will take with me always

I know that I could never live without you, as I have no choice

You are always within me, keeping me sane and safe from the worries of yesterdays

With you I have everything, my courage, my poise, my voice.

Now I make the promise only to myself

As someone once said “Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.” *

Each day is new and all that I need is here for me on my own shelf

And though I know not of what the future holds, I walk on into the unknown

For with you I now know I can face any battle

With you I can conquer any challenge

With you I will never be alone.

*Steve Maraboli