To Live Without Grief

outstanding or buried deep down under cover of granite stalagmites.
that grief so entirely lambasted & lamented
reprehensible- 
often i wished i could live without it
because it is cruel
& it is constant.

but what would that absensce bequeath me?
he who smokes like a chimney & reads murakami.
& i could not stop separating myself from it
like the sickening relief
from an exceptionally bad charley horse.

it occurs to me how delightful it feels
to conquer grief...
& how important it feels 
to allow grief entirely
a kind of soothing madness-
like bitersweet sisyphus.

grief
beloaguers my dreams
it softens my bones like the rickets
however:
decimating as it is
i bear it & hail in it.

"Happiness is beneficial for the body,
but it is grief that develops the
powers of the mind." - Marcel Proust