Living On

No matter how many years have past,

the unconquerable memories you've suppressed,

the purists scars you've hidden through years of surviving,

the secrets you control and live with,

the pain you've buried so deep,

All of it present deep in your hidden soul, none of it is ever gone forever...

In an instant,

it can all be uncovered, resurfaced,

throwing you into the mental hurricane of survival,

Instantly praying for emotional numbness to relieve you of the pain, 

the pain you've worked so hard to overcome, to overthrow,

the trauma that you think you've moved on from,

the scars you thought, lost in healing of life continued living,

the secret past no one could see through your smile and positivity

and yet here it finds you .. Here it finds you in a grown woman's body,

experiencing the same hurt,sadness, and unforgivable pain as that young child you once were...

something happens,

encountered with life events or peopl

you find yourself fighting the valleys of the deepest depths of the darkness...

You know you can't go back, you can't conquer the journey already lived,

can't unlive the memories that are etched in the sands of time,

the scars are already engraved In the heart...

Yet you try, try to beat the pain, the hurt, thinking, thinking ,

looking, looking and hoping, hoping

for the answers that are never uncovered and seeking for the logic never found...,

Because in such pain and sadness, there is no logic, no reason, no rhyme,

only living on, living through one day, even one moment at a time,

yet knowing it can all surface but praying with strength that when it does you will keep living in faith that you are stronger,

stronger than the pain that tries to suffocate your living, your love your happiness

Amber Lynn ~2015