Living in the Law

I am a liar
skilled in the ways of manipulation
like star constellations, I connect the dots,
thoughts leading to rotten deeds
committed in secret. And to you
It’s a pretty picture in the sky
Let me sparkle and shine
in a dark abyss because I know what
you’re missing. Let me “shine” into it.

I am a schemer
sure to display what makes me
“special” and disguise the things that
make me “human”
So assume then that my “good intensions” are
selfless inventions and as for my loving spirit…
Well I fear its affections are a little closer to home.

I am a Pharisee
Scripture reading saint, righteous-know-it-all
with “Humility” covering the footprints
of my filthy feet
Super hero syndrome
that defiles my purity
calling it good in the name of God.

I have nothing to hide
Only the things I try to forget
Just a few regrets, some bones
Some candy wrappers
and my dirty thoughts.
Did I say thoughts?
I meant sox.

And in sick religiosity
I prayed you would think well of me
I hide my insecurities and sing myself to sleep.

And it’s clear that my fear
Is an extension of my past
I’ve built a wall of cold extended hands
a barracks protecting my crazy
as I mutter to myself
“You will not be that girl”
“You will not be that girl”

And in sick religiosity
I prayed you would think well of me
I hide my insecurities and sing myself to sleep.
hide my insecurities and sing myself to sleep
My insecurities and sing myself to sleep
Insecurities and sing myself to sleep
and sing myself to sleep
Myself to sleep
to sleep
Sleep.

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