Living life trapped

I am trapped in this box of suffocation, been wanting to get out for years my tears turn into fears, my emotions are eroding even more, trying to store the everlasting hate inside to cover my pride on the outside, can't love because I'm too hurt, I try to love but I am scarred from my open wound that is not yet healed, I am missing that piece of happiness to bring joy to my life, continued to be cut with a knife, trying to live everday life as if I am "ok" knowing I am well on my way to not see another day, keeping the faith, is it enough to fight the tough overbearing pain that eats at my flesh the more I live? I want change and in order to rearrange i have to go deep inside myself which is strange, a young woman who's future is getting a little shady, but she is still fighting the war, it could be more, no need to complain just trying to explain that I'm in pain, living life trapped, wrapped in a box, wanting to be free, help me...