Living in the past

You are a liar You told me later but later never came You left me with a pain that feels like a c-section which my only protection could be an anesthesia to stop me from feeling the pain for a while but cannot stop me from seeing it or erase the scars Feels like I have no clue of what the present looks like feels like, because I'm still stuck in the past waiting for later This heavy burden that you left me with wondering what if ¿ Wondering if your last breath was peaceful, dreadful or what if I stopped you from leaving ¿ What if I knew, what if I hmmm what if it was my fault ¡ You left me with a mental scar when you promised you'll never leave You promised that you'll stop me from getting hurt when you're the one that hurting° me You promised you'll watched over me But you never told me it would be from heaven.... This pain just won't go away It is a birthmark that I have to live and die with A wound that can't be healed A memory that can't be erased A pass that can't be undone "Song" "This pain is just too real there's just too much that time cannot erase." Down in your grave is where you'll lay And in my heart is where you'll stay You're physically gone but not mentally forgotten Where you are, your body will be rotten The wind will blow the ashes Your body will disappear But the memories will reappear..... memories of finding your body down on the floor with bottle pills by you and a letter in your hand that says " sister I'm sorry I <3 you" no I'm sorry, and I hate you¡ I hate you for pointing this trigger to my head firing non stop I hate for leaving me with a pain of celebrating my birthday because I'm grieving your death I hate you for leaving me in the past alone carrying this burden What I hate the most is the fact that I love you Yesterday has passed, today is forever endless,tomorrow might never come, because later still isn't here.