[Loading...] Humanity

June 8, 2016

Some day you will hear chemical news through the walls

of this year’s house. Some days you’ll write words so

nonsensical that even Carroll would get confused,

watch too much YouTube and not get enough

sleep.

You’ll wonder why this college thing was ever a good idea.

Sometimes you’ll stare at the Clonazepam and Paroxetine—

calculate the fatal dose.

Discard that thought— mom is sure to find you in the morning.

Go ahead stare at your favorite professor aimless and interested.

She’ll figure out you’re not listening eventually.

Say it doesn’t matter.

wear that plastic smile you hate.

Sometimes you’ll be the only one with answers.

Console until everyone forgets but you—

memories jackhammering .

Maybe you’ll sit alone in your room—generic action movie number 6,

all explosions, no plot—not that it matters

you aren’t listening anyway.

Play Celldweller or Halsey ‘til you scream

maybe you’ll curl up in bed for days—

wishing for a childhood .

Sometimes you’ll have part of the answer: this—this

you can live with—recognize these times.

Work with others, never be isolated.

Let your fingers glide over the keyboard—

watch your pen bleed.

This is hope when you’ve lost it.

Loosen up.

Breathe.

Repeat.

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