Lone Wolf

I used to believe a landscape painting wouldn’t be complete without the trees.

Multiple trees create forests which are filled with wonder, beauty, fear, and unity.

But who says a tree on it’s own can’t be those things…?

It is the society we live in which drowns us with the belief

that being a lone wolf makes you weak.

It was not until the end of my freshman year in high school

when I learned to stop hunting for other wolves to join my pack.

Without others by my side,

I could feel the eyes drilling into my skin.

The opinions crawling their way into my brain.

Their expressions cutting off my circulation.

The day I stopped molding myself into the artwork people desired,

I was no longer wanted.

An abandoned work of art

stored away on the top shelf.

There, I would sit alone as people gazed and continued on with their day.

I felt like my body was crying out for help,

but no one seemed to care.

A girl alone during lunch,

not knowing where to go.

Thirty minutes of freedom began to feel like torture.

No teacher to turn to for comfort,

no open library to hide away my face,

no friend to call home.

Alone.

Roaming the hallways with no where to go.

I would make my round trips to the different bathrooms along the school

as if my girlfriends were waiting for me to catch them up on the latest news.

A place for kids to learn started to feel like a place where loners do not belong.

Depression began to fill my soul

and tears would not stop pouring down my face everyday at school.

Months began to go by,

and the closer summer came,

I could feel the sunshine slowly brightening up my soul.

One day,

I finally decided to bring my headphones

and tune the entire world out while sitting alone on a bench by a trash can.

The faces of others didn’t seem as important anymore.

The nails drilled into my skin slowly began to break.

The opinions and expressions faded away when the music began.

Little by little I learned to be a lone wolf.

I found my way and my voice.

Howling to the moon,

I no longer prayed for the company of others.

I prayed for strength and perseverance.

As a young adult today,

I face the world head on,

on my own.

A lone wolf.