A Lonely Artist

The night is dark and everlasting

As I await the sign that I am no longer alone.

I lay

Forever drowning in a river of my thoughts

A lonely artists dream

May she cope with this feeling of literal abyss?

Darkness consuming her mind and soul

Oh no... I cannot accept that

The wholeness of my heart dissipates

As the doubt's consume my thoughts

Creating figurines of unsureness, arising from the deepest depths of my mind

I am afraid

So afraid

You'd steal my heart and crush it within the palm of your hand

Every ounce of me is dedicated to you

I wait.

I wait for a sign that maybe I am not alone

The overconsuming fear that it is only myself and the darkness

And I curse to escape it,

but the fear is still there

The shadows encase over my eyelids

And I ghost of a smile makes its way upon my lips

As I reminisce a time of smooth jazz

Where I am in your arms, and you.. in mine.

Oh the horns, the drums... as we sway left and right

take me to a time where your love was my safe haven.

Now, music is my only option

I strip

Removing the dark thoughts from my mind, as if they were pieces of cloth

The canvas of my soul is now clear

And I paint.

I paint... like forever

Pink, blue, green, yellow...

Black

The swirls of inevitability and disconcertingness now replaced with swirls of hope and unloneliness

and... a little bit of truth

Music and paint

A lonely artist only hopes that she will feel a sense of peace

because as the rhythm occupies her veins, and the paintbrush recreates her soul

She knows that her light is there and will always be

Even through her doubts and worry

He loves more for her, than he truly does himself

And yet she knows none of that

Still, the foreboding darkness disappears

And she hopes that her lonely artist will, too, find the light, and paint swirls amongst his soul as well.