Long ago

Look at me 

What are you trying to  see

My face  or under

Because judgment  is what your  after

That look in your eyes

That tells me no

You’re not

You cant

You wont

A blockade of  disgrace 

You want to fall  to my face

And I believe I couldn’t 

I believe for second I wasn’t worth it

I couldn’t make it

When you scream  in my ears the words  that expelled through your teeth

Made me drop to my  knees  and killed my belief

Killed my joy  my innocence because   I learned ever sense

The world is dark  and  I’m broken

And then  I cried for the word spoken

I held the knife  as a token to take my life because  I was broken

I went through the waves day by day abused by all  you say

And for a second I believed that  I couldn’t make it

I couldn’t achieve but that  understated

But I grew infuriated

I dammed well would be bound  you sadist

My mental capacity is not through my face my skin  my hair

My naps and curls I grew and accepted because  for so long

You have given me death and grief burned

You see I am smart I believed long ago I wasn’t worth it but

Now I see