Long to Be
I stare at screens and pages telling me I’m not good enough,
that who I am isn’t who I should want to be.
They say “trust us, you aren’t okay…”
Sometimes I fall into the trap they set for me.
I see pictures of people who seem happy
and long to be them.
Will I ever feel that happy?
I see pictures of people who are filthy rich
and I long to be them.
How will I pay for next semester?
I see pictures of people who overcame some struggle
and I long to be them.
When will it be my turn?
If I listen to the messages these pictures are selling,
even just for a second,
I am…
miserable
broke, broken even,
and stuck.
When did I give everyone else permission to tell me
who I am?
I am more than their evaluation of me.
I am more than my evaluation of me on days
when I get into my own head.
I am not miserable, broken, or stuck.
There are days I feel that way
but those words don’t describe me.
I am fiercely fighting for my own happiness,
working towards a future that I can be proud of,
and experiencing things that will make me stronger.
I am the person I should long to be-
a work in progress,
perfectly imperfect,
wholly my own,
and worth a damn.