The Longing

I wanted so desperately for you to stay I reached out to you in the dark two hands grasping the air for untouchable skin I leaned into the sound of your voice interminably you were my thoughts but this wasn't love I saw your face in every photograph and in every affectionate quote was your name I read stories of you but I only had pieces of your story we are unconventionally unconditional but this wasn't love we're a one-way mirror and just like mirrors I can never be close enough and just like a flipped image I can never quite be good enough I can never quite be a match and I watched you succeed in ways I never will on a path I'll never see the trees grow alongside from a distance I feel the need to look after you and constantly wish for your wellbeing to be just that well but this wasn't love and I don't know you for your face or the breath of your body just a melody and a kid's dream coming true a man's conflicting self between what is attainable and what is perfect but this wasn't love and I couldn't grab your waist as you gave into tears but with a smile that made my eyes sparkle with pride for your making it this far I said 'well done' but do not misunderstand this wasn't love for I'll never know what that is and no matter how far my hands reach to tilt your eyes towards me you'll never see and no matter how loudly I will continue to cheer you on you'll never hear because you're never here and you never will be