Losing It

Intense pain can wake a person suddenly

As when they were drifting through life in a haze

of half-gratification, not too good, not too bad.

Then they lose

everything.

Blinking in the strangeness of air that demands

to be breathed only now that you really don't

want to breathe it.

Inflicting unnecessary physical pain on yourself

in order to prove a rebellious, meaningless point

to those around you who say they love you.

It's always been hard for me to believe that.

But there's still hope, they say. You can't just

give up like that, can't lie down and say

it's over.

Well, what if I keep going?

What is there?

Man is driven by reward.

If that which I seek here no longer exists then I will no longer exist.