Losing, but what?

Pacing, my current state is erased, new slate, new face, new plate, the old ways I negate, but oh how they linger, oh how they carry on, can one truly declare that their past has gone. Gone passed, but how I wish to return, these responsibilties I do not concern, nostalgia aches and how it yearns. You're no longer near, living out my dreams and fears, an ideal oppurtunity that was crushed with the right choice, now Iive with but one voice, and it bores me, yet I endure it, I chose to proceed when I should've quit. This place is a desert, and the oasis seems fake, I've only had glimpses, so its peices I take, where are my signs, I didn't mean throw them away, why can't I see them, have they gone, or did they stay, where I should've, where I thought I left my dismay, because it's here, and as of now I cant look away.