At A Loss

Im at a loss for words right now

I don't know what to say

I don't know how to feel or how

to go about my day 

The images never leave my head

Your happiness displayed

Tears will come, my heart feels dead

Feeling broken and dismayed

The star on your hand shines bright

And everyone loves you so much more

You are happy, pretty, and filled with light

And that cuts me to the core

Everything worked out for you

and I'm still stranded here

I can't go back and undo

I step up and perservere 

I pray my heart and mind will stop

with my jealousy and pain

I hope I can climb to the top

Through thunder and through rain

God, help me be a better girl

who is not so selfish in her heart

Clease my spirit, as white as pearl

and bid my anger to depart