Loss/Lost

I'm alright, I'm fine, I guess I'm okay. 

To say I'm doing great well I guess I'd be lying. 

You were like a mother to me, a friend. 

Someone I could turn to when I lost my way. 

Why God chose to take you I do not know. 

wish I had your strength, your wisdom, your courage, 

some semblance of you inside of me. Instead I am weak, 

unwise, a coward to say the least. And when I look in 

the mirror I cry for the person staring back at me. 

A ghost of my former self,not yet dead, but everyday 

fading. Pale from failure, pale from fear of not 

knowing what the future holds. What to feel, 

how to deal with the hand life has dealt. 

"I am CEO of my life," I can hear you plain as day. 

What confidence you had. Wish I had it in me.