Lost

I’m losing myself. Searching for guys to use me, exploiting myself has become my new hobby. The shame i feel, the pain I go through, it is what i deserve. I don’t deserve love, like my friends. I deserve to be alone and hurt. That’s just the way I am. I am not pure and beautiful like them, I am damaged and torn. I have had my heart ripped from my chest, never to be returned. I struggle to get out of bed each day, to face to world without you by my side. So I turn to self-destruction, as my only comfort. The pain reassures me, I am still alive. But baby, i am so lost.