Lost

With your hand firmly in mine, our path was clear, right in front of us.

There was no confusion, no uncertainty

Then you left.

Your touch slipped from my grasp slowly, yet all at once

In such a way that though I saw it coming, it still rattled my bones,

Shook out every bit of who I was so that all that remains is paper skin glued to hollow bones

A pulverized person staring with a vacant gaze into a shattered mirror

Stumbling blindly through the woods because our path diverged into my path

And your path

Yours converged with hers while mine became unclear

With your hand firmly in hers, you stride on in a completely different direction

With my hand empty, head still reeling, I take one brittle step after another

One hollow breath after another

Blink back exhaustion, swallow tears

Night falls dark and deep and I’m tripping over roots

Falling, pulling myself up only to fall again

I look to the stars as a guide only to find an empty, starless sky

A panic rises as I realize I have no fucking clue what I’m doing

But maybe I’m not supposed to

Maybe that’s why you left, because I’m supposed to figure it out on my own

Maybe the night isn’t so dark, the moon just hides in the clouds

And maybe I couldn’t see the stars because I was looking for the ones I once saw in your eyes

But these are far more beautiful, far brighter

Infinite and sparkling

And promising

Maybe I don't need a path

Maybe I can make my own path as I figure it out

Maybe no one is supposed to really have it all figured out

In the past couple months I've grown to realize that an empty hand means I can pick more flowers

Maybe stop to sketch a tree,

Skip a stone

With both hands open and absolved of yours I am free to search on my hands and knees for the person I once was

The one I lost along with you