I am a lost boy looking for his Mother. Out in the rain with no shelter, no cover

Scared and confused having to face the unknown. Am I the one to blame for you not being at home?

What's the reason why you chose alcohol and drugs over me? Am I the reason why home is a place you dont wanna be?

Please Mom explain why your not around. Explain why you go to the nastiest bar in town 

Get drunk and fucked up on boose and liquer. Why are you coming home, 2 hours late after dinner?

Why do you continue to break my Dads heart? Why are you being selfish and tearing our family apart?

Making him throw fits, breakdown and cry "Karen why won't you stop drinking? Please tell me why?"

Then you leave and we dont know where you are. We go by the bar, there you are, we see your car

Same time, same place you never stop. It was heart wrenching having to give your picture to a Cop

File a missing persons report because you didn't come home. Just to find out you were at some guys house cheating on my Dad not answering your phone

I hate you as a person and a Mother. Don't worry, I'll take care of my baby Sister and Brother

Make sure they do their schoolwork and keep their rooms clean. Your not around, your too busy hanging around a bunch of dope feenes

Getting high and putting yourself before us. Jess is missing you, crying and making a fuss

She looks at me for an answer "I miss Mom, why is she not here?" I hold her as she cries, She doesn't understand that all you care about is drugs and beer

Now you live with that fat fuck Gary. Everything is going fine for you just peachy and merry

I scope out your place, make sure I'm ok with the kids going over. Look in the fridge and find beer, I'm mad, the kids are around so I keep my composure

I take you aside and ask you why? Why are you still drinking, are you sleeping with this guy?

Are you sleeping with him for a place to stay? Never forget the kids faces as we pull away

Jessica starts crying, I calm her down, she burries her face in my chest. I'm like a Father to these kids, Dad and I are doing our best

But can you say the same? Fuck no. But your place is where the kids love to go

They don't know the whole truth, they just wanna see their Mother. They think your gonna bounce back and you'r gonna recover

Im done with you, I cut you outta my life. My heart is filled with unhealed wounds and your finger prints are on the knife

2 years later I ask if we can get back to the way we were before. I'll take you as you are, I dont wanna be angry no more

 On Tuesday the kids go to your place for breakfast and T.V. Your house is where the kids loved to be

You call my Dad at 6:30, tell him you went to AA and your sober. Your drunk days are finally over

He's happy because his Karen is finally getting better. You can finally come home and we can all finally all be together

As I start to put on my shoes I get a call at 7:20 "JT Moms dead" Jess is screaming and crying as she is looking at her dead Mommy

I run to your place as fast as I can. Get there, do CPR rescue Mom, thats the plan

I get to you and your pale, blue lips and orange spots all over. I was too late, got the kids out fixed your hair, closed your eyes and pulled the blankets over

Your calm and lifeless face. Man I could have rescued you if I would have just picked up the pace

Ran faster, or gone to your place for T.V. and food. Maybe that would have put you in a better mood

You would have stayed awake for me to be there when you died. I know I could have saved you Mom, I know I could have if i tried

But no, your selfish ways got you to where you are. 41 years old, dead because of your addiction that led you to the bar

I grow up angry, sad and depressed. Thinking about killing myself is something I have never confessed

Im cought between being a 2nd Dad and a Brother. I'm lost because I have no Mother

Fake it till I make it, don't show emotion, don't cry. I can finally grief Mom, let me tell you why

I'm no longer gonna hide the fact that I'm mad, angry, dissapointed, and lost. You payed the price for drinking and using drugs, your life was how much it cost

I wont be like you, Ill be the parent you never were. I'll make sure I'm there for my kids, and they have a loving Mother

You left me Mom, you're the one I needed the most. But fuck it, you'r sober now and you almost made up for your mistakes.....almost