Lost in Living

I have tasted bittersweet regret,

My tongue sometimes has teeth.

I have disappointed my religion,

But I've put my tongue back in my sheath.  

I have felt the bite of anger,

But I've held a child's cry.

I have cursed too many people,

But then I've questioned why.

I have been thrown into pain's waters,

But I've climbed back out again.

I have cried, my tears like ink,

But I've put them into my pen.

I have written out my story,

Althought it's not much about glory.

I've taken too much time,

I've spent too much on my crime. 

But I am alive. 

Would I rather feel nothing?

Be numb and dead and cold?

Are violence and armed words worth it?

Should I believe what I've been told?

I start to find myself--

When regret becomes the past,

The kisses of a burden--

That I once wanted to last.

God's eyes try not to watch us,

But He cannot stop.

He must see all the colors--

From the gold to the bus stop.

He sees as I shed the skins of memories,

Still stopping me from now.

I am  who I choose,

I am who I allow.

Choose carefully your memories,

The ones you let direct.

Choose which ones you must lose,

And the ones you must protect.

Feel something, feel inside.

I am alive