Lost my family!

I used to have a family but I know where I went wrong drugs all along can't seem to shake it I might not make it there's no way I can live another day this way I've lost control seems like the devil took my soul even if I tried to change my ways I'm not protected I can't save myself from the evil that comes my way I've lost control don't know how to cope alone and angry trying to find an escape is it rape so much hate it's going to be my way or no way haven't kneeled to pray if I had a gun I would blow everyone away don't know what to say it's like my life's already slipped away taking up space day by day wish I could just run away my world is dark and gray struggling just to make it through this season my pain don't go away when I'm down there ain't anyone around I'm on my knees now please help me to get past this I don't want it can't seem to let go just can't kick it but Imma try till I die, I wish I never touched this it controls me I feel like I don't even know me I'm almost to destruction I can't even function my dreams are on hold this is getting old my heart turned cold I f****** fold any nice things I ever had sold, drop to my knees yelling God please help me I had a beautiful family who adored me would have done anything for me but I got turned on to a life that wasn't for me did nothing but destroy me years passed feel like a movie I make the cast but after that blast don't last I'm steady regretting my past too fast to slow down the wrong road never did I feel truly loved guess everyone just put on a show be careful who you think you know cuz after the show you're on your own