Lost, Present, and Without You.

Dear Ex-Best Friend,

You left me behind,

You took my loyalty and threw it out.

Am I on your mind?

Do you ever think back and doubt?

I left you too- the day you tried to talk to me.

I'm willing to admit my anger blinded my eyes.

Even now, I cant tell if we could ever agree,

or if we both would be too paranoid that it would all be lies.

Losing you caused pain that catches in throat,

Blocking my words and voice.

Like heavy lead- causing me to choke

I can't say anything- I can't make any noise.

My head is pounding- There's a concert in my head,

And you are the lyrics that are on my mind.

I want to take my layers off- I want to shed.

I want to leave our past behind.

When we met you saved me.

I was friendless, quiet, reserved.

I was in an ocean of emotions, lost at sea.

Then you sat by me, and we shared.

Even now, your birthday is the only one I remember.

You smile still brings me joy and makes me content-

I buy you a gift every year in December.

You will never receive it- It never got sent.

I think of you day and night,

not strangely, but you're always in my mind

In the corner, at the edge of my sight.

It doesn't help that you're always in the light.

I don't regret losing you,

Although I do miss us.

I don't regret growing up too,

Cause you may have left me, but not in the dust.

There's no use to cry over this,

there's no reason to regret it.

I may miss

But I can always forget.

I have gone farther than I ever thought I could, 

Reaching new places I had never been.

I've gone farther than you told me I should,

My life without you was hard to begin.

I don't remember your favorite song,

I don't remember your eyes.

I just remember how long

you made me cry.