Lost In Thought

If the leaves fall any slower,

Mocking me with there gilded beauty,

Accenting the breeze with hushed whispers,

That is how

I will know I have gone insane.

If spring comes in with a hurry,

blowing, pushing and shoving,

Bring cool breezes and harsh storms

Yet dancing with tulips and

planting new seed as she sings;

If winter knocks with rage,

Tossing off his icy covers

Tumbling in through the dark,

Steeled for the worst of the year,

Trying to please while attention is his;

If summer mocks with its whip of overwhelming warmth,

Yet is undaunted by the children who have to come to love him most dearly,

rushes past me little world with nothing more than a stifling breeze,

I know things have stayed the same.

Fall has brought back the monsters in the shadows,

I have not dwelt there since I was younger yet we haven't forgotten each other.

We meet eyes and I know they will want to talk.

To long have I ran from their door way,

Immune to their call,

Trying to be at peace with my ever moving world.

Words aren't meant for us.

Not spoken nor sung from the mouth can be accepted.

I write because they will last longer that way.

I will remember I sat here once,

Enjoying the peace of one last fall,

To relish in all the years that have passed,

All too few, and All too fast.

The crowd will come once again,

I know they will not leave me here.

Like me they see the change.

Laughing away the bitterness and tears of the future.

Their eyes gleam form the freedom and adventures,

Yet to be taken on this rough rugged old road.

I cannot be like them,

The cliff is to close,

The edge is too jagged.

They see me and yet do not recognize me,

As I return to the faceless mask.

If it is not for me to be known like they are.

I wish to never be alone,

Yet to never be seen.

I will resign my inter self to a smile

A book to pass the time and friends to watch with love, with envy.

I shall excel at my self inflicted exile.

I don't need their eyes.

I will walk long paths,

And I will search high trees.

I will marvel at the bugs, plants, and things that crawl.

I will enjoy my days.

I will learn what I can't ever be taught;

A simple laugh to pass the days along.

I will sing like the lark who is free.

In my doubt I have no reason to doubt what is real.

I know who is in control though I might not always like the answer.

Eventually I will come to be my four year old predictions.

I will go full circle and return as I am.

Someday I will return to just being me.

As for now I can only dream of what this world has for me.

In this fleeting moment I will write,

To remember this day of the facade of peace.

I will stand on the brink of warmth and chill.

I will watch leaves fall and flowers bloom.

I am I time traveler traveling at the speed of light straight through history.

I will have much to tell my friends when we meet again.

I will be something more.

I cannot fall short though fall is coming.

By one last glance to steal away from the falling leaves of this shady tree,

Falling not quite fast enough,

And yet much to fast for me.

Content I will walk to the fray that is more than myself.

With every step I come closer to where I started,

Though from where you stand I have yet to begin to move.