LOVE

I crumbled at your embrace when our lips touched. A sweetness keeping me indulged. Our bodies folded together, becoming inseparable. My face hot and body numb. We were alone in the universe, existing in only the stars. Your hands were in my hair. The beat of your heart was pounding a  delicate rhythm. Your jacket bringing a fresh and crisp aroma, I wanted nothing more than to wrap myself in it. I was filled with nostalgia of you when we parted. Your eyes were warm and inviting, as if you were asking for me to move in. My affection was real and pure, it only grew when you laughed and held me closer. You said you loved me.

Why do you hate me now? There are no more sweet words in my ear. Why do you yell at me?  You said I was talking "out of turn." Why don't you hold me anymore? There is no affection anymore. Your inviting eyes have shut me out, leaving me huddled up at the doorstep. Why do you ban me from anyone close? My mother. My father. My friend believes I'm dead. How are you disgusted by me, but are jealous around other men? I was only taking my order. You taught me a lesson, I was left tattered and frayed, limp and helpless. You apologized and helped me into bed. Did you care that I was crying and begging for God to save me? At night I heard your heartbeat, a rhythm to a sickening song. I wanted to end it.

What was it like to hold my hair again? You gripped it tight and held my face down in the toilet. You were washing off my bloody face, I still feel the cold porcelain in my palms. I didn't recognize the voice on the phone, you assumed it was a lie. Do you remember the smell the stove had? You held my hand down on it when I stood up to you. My flesh burned reeking of decaying matter, just like our love and unlike your jacket. Our love died when you tried to make me feel small. I crumbled at your feet now, and you laughed. There is no more affection. You didn't hold me close, you said you hated me. 

Do you want to kill me? Do you wish to destroy the remainder of my soul? Will you unhinge your jaws and finish the job? I escaped on a Sunday, yet you found me. You ran me over like a deer in the night. My face felt hot when you slammed me onto your car. You lied to me when I was dying. You said you loved me.

Love is not hands around my neck. Love is not abuse and suffering. Love is not a sick perversion. I've seen more affection in a snake towards it's prey.

Love is passion. It's the feeling of a sunset with perfect hues of orange and pink. Love is joy. Love is caring. Love is infinite. It is gratifying and hopeful. It is the sun's warmth on your skin. The sound of tranquility. Love is the future. It's what it means to be human.

It is everything you are not.