For love

You said this is real love

the kind you see on the big screen,

the kind everyone wants,

the kind no one sees behind closed doors,

and because I loved you

I believed it.

I believed in your words rather than your actions.

Even when you bruised me because you said

IM SORRY I JUST GET JEALOUS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!

I was confused by your words 

believing that you actually loved me 

not knowing that I was actually hurting myself 

for loving you

I forced myself to believe in this notion that you actually loved me

ignoring all signs that this wasn't healthy,

that you just wanted to be with me because you knew no one else would love you the way I did

and you would end up....

alone.

But no I ignored all the warnings

and burned those pamphlets that said

"signs of an abuser in a relationship"

I kept repeating to myself 

"it's all in your head"

but I knew it was meant to end

but because I loved you 

I let you hurt me

I gave you the privilege to my open heart

and endless oppurtunities 

yet you never learned.

I had the last of it

and that's when I ended it

because over the time we were together

I forgot how wonderful I was

how great and strong I am for putting up for so long

because even though i did love you

I learned to love me too.