this is love.

by valeriekeolam

November 3, 2017

My voice trembled

as I sat in the chair

warm, soft, inviting

uncomfortable.

To this stranger I had never met

I told on hIM.

hE.

Not much older than me

shut the door

locked me in

told me to takeoffmyclothes

and mOLESTED me.

over ten years.

silence and aGAIN

please yet aGAIN

silence and aGAIN

waiting fOREVER?

Tell me.

Mommy?

Daddy?

Why do I have to love hIM?

But why?

...

fine.

In this chair

which I sat

the years I took

the time I wavered

...But we're family!

No.

It is wrong b e c a u s e hE is family.

waiting...

time.

tears.

and hE is gone.

but. why. am. i. still. lost?

-----

in the time

that i have tried

to heal

on my own

i have realized

healing is hard.

i was warned

that love

a relationship

intimacy

it would be scary.

yet still
when spring came
i could not resist

its allure.

i fell in love.

with a man

who loves me

just the same.

he invigorates me,

cares for me,

dreams of me,

empowers me.

i look at him.

i see my lover.

i see a spouse.

i see my future.
every day

i am aware

of my beating heart
of how lucky i am

to have a guy who is willing

to help heal me.

this is love.

this IS love.

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